Friday, November 23, 2012

Patients taking their health into their own hands with great results

More and more patients are taking control of their own health rather than just relying on their doctor to fix their problems.  The free exchange of information on the internet is creating a revolution in the healthcare industry as more and more patients are becoming more educated and in turn, making more intelligent decisions about their health.  They are finding doctors that will work with them in finding solutions, not just dictate to them as an authority figure.

Dave DeBronkart was diagnosed in January 2007 with kidney cancer at a very late stage.  Odds were stacked against him, with tumors in both lungs, several bones, and muscle tissue. He fought and overcame his cancer.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Low dose Nicotine to treat depression, ADHD and mild cognitve impairment

Everyone has heard that smoking tobacco is bad for you.  This is proven by science as it leads to lung cancer, emphysema and other health problems.  But smoking is only one method of deliver for Nicotine, the active ingredient in tobacco. Transdermal Nicotine Patch can be used and is much safer than inhaling tobacco smoke. Nicotine is natural and therefore can't be patented so you probably won't hear about using it as a medicine from your doctor, but new studies, such as the one linked to at the bottom of the page,  have shown that it is effective in treating some conditions.  This medicine from nature can be used to treat depression, alzheimers, ADHD, and mild cognitive impairment. It even might help repair the brain as written in this article by Science A Go Go.  

Drugs made from naturally occurring chemicals found in nature tend to be safer than man made pharmaceuticals and tend to have less side effects. For this reason, this seems like a possible safer option to treat these conditions. Nicotine raises the brain chemicals Dopamine (brain chemical responsible for focus, attention, etc.) and Norpinephrine (also for attention, focus, energy, motivation,sexual enjoyment,etc.) 

 I recently have been having problems with my focus and memory and have been pretty concerned about this. I thought I would try an experiment with Nicotine to see if it would help me. After smoking a couple of natural cigarettes I got from a friend,  I was focused, talkative, could read and retain information better. This effect lasted all night. That night I slept really good and had real vivid dreams. The next day I also experienced these positive side effects. This spurred me to more research into this and that's where I found that Nicotine can be used to treat mild cognitive impairment, ADHD, Alzheimers, etc. It makes sense since it seems that everything we need to survive and thrive is found in nature. Sometimes hidden, awaiting mans discovery. Since you can't patent natural things, you won't hear much of it in the mainstream media because big pharma spends millions each year with these networks to run their drug ads so there is a conflict on interest.  

I'm going to give it a try as an experiment soon to see if it helps me long term. I'll post my results on Facebook and you can message me there if you want to talk with me more about it.  

I'm currently starting another experimental treatment but after that I will be trying the nicotine. I'm awaiting the arrival of my natural dessicated thyroid (Armour brand) from a overseas pharmacy. I'm going to experiment with that first since through my research, I've discovered that thyroid dysfunction and be the cause of many illnesses from depression to chronic fatigue syndrome.  One of the symptoms of low thyroid function know as (Hypothyroidsm), is brain fog. Although one's standard medical tests can show their thyroid in normal range, one could still suffering from hypothyroid and would benefit from dessicated thyroid.  Many people may have Hypothyroidsm and not even know it which leads to brain issues, fatigue, low energy, digestion problems, immune problems and more. 

*I've written about hypothyroid before on my blog and you can read more AT THE LINK HERE

*You can also read more about Nicotine in a article from Science A Go Go AT THE LINK Here

* Here's the link to one study about using Nicotine for mild cognitive impairment.


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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Buy a lotery ticket or save your money and invest it?

If you fail or succeed in life, it can be traced to something you did daily.  Traced to a way of thinking, acting. Successful people have a way of thinking and acting and they reap the rewards of this.  Time is precious, you only have so much of it and what you do with this time of yours is your seed planted in the field of YOUR LIFE. This Most certainly will eventually bring you a harvest. Will it bring you the future harvest you are desiring?... Plant good seed and get a good harvest.    If one buys a lottery ticket daily, it's true he has a possibility of winning but the odds are greatly against him.  If one buys a lottery ticket daily, that will cost him 365 dollars each year.  That's money that could be invested into something that would give him a much better return on his investment than gambling.  Since good decisions lead to good outcomes, if you study someone's decisions, their habits daily, their mental habits, how they spend their time, etc.  You can to some degree make a prediction as to this persons future. Of course there is something called chance that happens to everyone, but more often than not, it's our decisions that decide our circumstances. We don't always have a choice as to what life brings us, but most of the time we do have a choice in how we handle it. Like the old saying goes, "when life sends you lemons, make lemonade".  Of course our decisions are based on our level of current wisdom, but our choice to either love and pursue wisdom, knowledge or disdain it has led us to where we are now and will most certainly effect our future.

Living with good habits are not just a good idea, your habits are truly deciding your future.  For example, people don't get heart disease because of genetics.  They get it because years and years of their choices,  eating low nutrient, high fat animal products and not exercising. One thing you will notice about the wealthy, successful people compared to the poor is that the wealthy tend to take full responsibility for their life and realize that they always have the power of their decision to change things.  Many poor people believe that life is out of their control, while successful people believe it's in their control.  Now it's true, life is not totally in our control, but God gave us a rational mind for a reason, to determine our direction. Our mind is a tool and we can direct that tool towards any goal.  People say "God is in control!"  This is simply not true. Maybe in the big , ultimate scheme of things, God is in control, but in all reality, we are in control of our life. We become what we believe, as we act upon our beliefs. In taking full responsibility for our life, we quit blaming circumstances, start using our creative problem solving. We learn that we can actually do more than we could imagine. Building our life just like a brick wall, one brick at a time.

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Sunday, November 4, 2012

Dr. Kent Holtorf speaks on the thyroid disorder "hypothyroidism"

Dr. Kent Holtorf speaks on the thyroid disorder "hypothyroidism" and how many times, doctors standard tests can miss the problem.  Dr. Holtorf is an Endocrinoligist who owns and runs Holtorf Medical Group. Holtorf Medical Group specializes in hormone issues but also treat everything from Chronic Fatigue to Multiple Sclerosis. They currently have five locations. Three in California.

 Watch the video below.

thyroid for blog

 You can contact the Holtorf Medical Group at the link below.

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Natural anti-depressant herb : Rhodiola Rosea

 There is a revolution going right now in regards to mental illness such as depression, Obsessive Compulsive disorder, bipolar, ADHD and other cognitive issues. People are realizing that the health of their brain and body is truly their responsibility. Their quality of life is truly in their hands, determined by their choices and that they can't just expect doctors to fix their problems with toxic pills. Pills don't heal a person they just cover up symptoms, many times adding terrible side effects requiring more pills to cover up the new symptoms. This is especially true with psychiatric drugs. This is why you usually see people with psychiatric illness on not just one but a whole cocktail of drugs.  People have been moving away from these damaging psychiatric medications and looking for new natural ways to treat their brain issues and chemical imbalances. Different ways such as exercise, diet, amino acids and herbs all come into play.   One of these natural ways to treat depression is a herb called Rhodiola Rosea.  It's been found to work for many and just may be the answer you or someone you love have been looking for. 

In the following video,  Chris Kilham on Fox news reports on the anti-depressant effect of the herb Rhodiola Rosea.

Rhodiola for blog

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Saturday, November 3, 2012

Embracing a limitation can actually drive creativity

Artist Phil Hansen speaks at TED about how after
being diagnosed with nerve damage in his hand,
he continued to make art by discovering 
creative new ways in spite of his

Watch and be inspired. :)


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Thyroid link to many health problems

Even if your doctor has checked your thyroid levels and they show within normal range, you could still have a problem.  Evidence is showing that many times, thyroid issues are missed and by supplementing with safe, natural dessicated thyroid like Armour brand thyroid, a person can feel better and even get their life back.

Do you have a thyroid problem? ............  Do you suffer from chronic fatigue, depression, fybromyalgia, allergies, etc?  It could be your thyroid.  Maybe you are suffering needlessly.  Maybe dessicated thyroid will help you.

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Sunday, October 28, 2012

To whom much is given, much is required

We sometimes can forget...... We are either being a force for evil or a force for good by every chosen thought, our words and our actions.  We all have had times where our heart has been full of compassion for our fellow man.  We felt connected to others in the world and that our life had some greater purpose of benevolence beyond ourselves.  That we are all humans in need of love trying to find peace in our hearts.  We have also all seen our own dark side. Our selfish judgmental side that pridefully makes us feel separate from others.  We adopt a belief like we are in some way, better than another.  Maybe we believe that it's better fashion we wear, or that we have a better car or have a better job.  Maybe we pride ourselves in the fact that we are a good Christian, Republican or Democrat and we feel that it makes us better in some way?  These are all labels and they are not who we really are.  When they fall away, and most of them eventually do, we realize that we are not these labels but we are something greater. The labels may bring us some comfort for a while and distract us from our pain but they separate us from one another and ultimately cause us more pain.  Labels limit us because they cause us to want to conform to their image.  We are not free to find and be our true selves.  The reality is that every human being is all the same in worth in the eyes of God.  Some may see the light sooner and make better choices in this life but it in no way gives them more worth than another.  With knowledge and wisdom come more responsibility.  To whom much is given, much is required. We have the responsibility of reaching out in love to our fellow man in kindness to share our enlightenment.  It's our choice daily to use our words as idle chatter wasting precious time or to use them like the weapons of power that they are.  Like swords to fight off injustice, evil and fend off the darkness.  If only we would truly realize the enormous  power of influence we all have for good or evil.  The power of our words. Choose them wisely my friend.

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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Stress can greatly affect your health in a negative way

Are you stressed?  Do you think it doesn't really matter that much?

Did you know that your stress could be causing your health problems? 

Even if you are healthy right now, illness could be scheduled in your future and it could be directly related to the amount of stress in your life right now.

The American Medical Association has said that stress is the root of more than 60% of all human illness and disease.

How does stress affect the body?

Stress can be the cause of the following.....

*ADD and ADHD symptoms
*Irritability and Anger
*Panic disorders
*Teeth grinding and tension in jaw
*Increased Heart Rate
*Heart Disease
*Diabetes Type 1 and 2
*Digestive Disorders
*Upset Stomach
*Abdominal Pain
*Irritable Bowel Syndromw
*Weight Gain and Obesity
*Decreased Sex Drive
*Emotional and Behavioral Problems
*Immune System Dysfunction
*Lack of Energy
*Addiction in General
*Chronic Fatigue

The list goes on..... Since stress can affect the immune system, it can contribute to all disease.

What can you do about it?

Although you may think that stress is caused by things beyond your control, you are actually the one in control and it's your own thinking that causes most of your stress.

The more you take personal responsibility for your stress and quit blaming other things, the sooner you can get your stress under control.

1.It's not what happens to you that stresses you out, it's your interpretation of what happens to you.
Two people can see a situation differently and react completely differently.  One can see a challenging situation as an opportunity and embrace it with determination while another can feel overwhelmed and fearful.  It's not the actual events that make us upset, it's our view of these events.  The events happen, we create a scenario or interpretation of events in our heads and this releases the emotions accordingly.  Fearful thoughts lead to fearful anxious emotions.  Positive thoughts lead us to more peace and calmness. Realize that you are in control of your emotions, because you are in control of your thoughts. Making a conscious effort to be aware of our thoughts and to choose to see the positive will greatly reduce your stress.

2. Since stress in a biochemical reaction, it can be halted by choosing to do things that change your biochemistry.  There are guaranteed ways of feeling more peaceful and combating stress.  Your brain chemicals greatly affect how you see the world.  Everyone cycles up and down in our different brain chemicals to some degree.  Some days you may have a little more Serotonin which makes us feel more calm, peaceful and helps us to have a better outlook on life. Higher serotonin has also been directly connected with the quality of our sleep. When we get deep restful sleep, it helps lower our stress levels and gives us more reserve when dealing with daily issues.  This is why SSRI drugs like Prozac and Zoloft help people with anxiety and depression issues.  They help keep more Serotonin in the brain creating a biochemical change alleviating their symptoms.  Unfortunately these types of drugs can lead to down regulation of the body's own ability to produce Serotonin and can actually make things worse in the long run.  Other brain chemicals like Dopamine, GABA, and Norepinephrine also affect how we feel and our stress levels by giving us what world famous Dr. Daniel Amen calls more "brain reserve"  Giving us more ability to deal with the issues life sends our way.

Here are some things we can choose to do daily to raise our brain chemistry.

1. Exercise
2. High Nutrient Diet
3. Meditation (think on good positive things)
4. Massage (it doesn't have to be professional massage, touch from a loved one can also help"
5. Acts of altruism (fancy word for helping others)
6. Some supplements like St. Johns wort, Sam-E, Niacin and Omega 3 rich fish oil can help

Do these things first before even considering drugs.  They are non toxic and have only good side effects unlike drugs.

"If something negative happening to you right now will not be a big deal 5 to 10 years from now, then why should it be a big deal to you now?"

Blessings- Rob

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Consider your words

***** Words are very powerful!***** An example of this is that words can start wars and words can end wars. Words can build up or destroy. They can lead one to more prosperity or more pain. They should be chosen with wisdom and like the old saying says, "if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all". Please consider choosing your words wisely. If you need change in your life, consider changing your philosophy on life. It's in your control what you believe and why you believe it and there are consequences to our chosen beliefs. What you believe greatly determines your happiness, success or failure in life. We are truly creating our lives by our chosen beliefs. Somewhere along the way we were influenced by the voices we chose to believe. We adopted certain beliefs that lead to certain actions. One of the quotes I love is "your future is decided by the voice you've chosen to believe." This is why I"m very careful who I give my ear to. Not everyone qualifies for my time or attention. Not every voice is worthy of my chosen standard and some voices should be ignored. If one can change their thoughts, then this will lead to changed actions which end up truly changing ones life. Blessings!

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

What we believe will ultimately manifest in our life

On June 7, 2012, Bob Welch (former member of Fleetwood Mac) committed suicide in his Nashville home at around 12:15 p.m. He was found by his wife with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest; a suicide note had been left behind. According to his wife, Welch had spinal surgery three months earlier and doctors had told him he would not get better, and he did not want her to have to care for an invalid........ He obviously couldn't see the bigger picture that there is always hope. Maybe he couldn't see that it was possible for this situation to change for him or that he could find some good in it all. It's very important that we take inventory of the beliefs we've adopted about ourselves and life, they could be flawed like Bob Welches obviously were. It's never too late to have hope.  There is always hope with God, but we have to have faith.  Faith that things can and will change.  Both fear and faith are great motivators.  Which are we being driven by in our decisions?

This is a sober reminder of how our beliefs will ultimately become our reality.  What are we believing and who are we listening to is of vital importance.

Your future is decided by the voice you've chosen to believe.

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You become what you think about

You truly become what you think about.  Think of success and manifest it.  Think of failure all the time and you will move towards it. 

Whatever goal you want to achieve
it's so important to keep your thoughts
positive and focused on your 
vision of this thing coming to pass.
Envision success in faith.
Ignore all distractions.  Negative people, things, thoughts, etc.
Thoughts are seeds that will eventually harvest in the garden
of our life. Plant only good seeds and remove the weeds of negative thoughts in the garden of our mind.


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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

America, let freedom ring!

** America, you are the best country on earth, founded on principles such as individual rights and freedom! Built for the people, by the people! A nation of intelligent individual thinkers who always seem to find a way to overcome any adversity. Let freedom ring!! I love this country!

Celebrate small changes

Many times we wait to celebrate until we've made a big positive changes in our lives. This is interesting because most of our improvements we make in life start with small changes not big ones. Why don't we celebrate every small change? We can make small positive changes right now in our lives and these small changes not only make a huge difference over time, but also when combined with other small changes make a huge difference overall in our quality of life. When we choose to celebrate the small positive changes we make in our lives, we feel good about our lives and where we are going. We are happier and will be more motivated to do more. Pretty soon our lives will begin to look more and more like the ultimate vision we have for it. Our dreams can become a reality, just like building a wall. One small brick at a time. :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Letting go

"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting." -Buddha

In the last few years, I've grown a lot in my thinking and philosophy of life. Of course we all grow and change and this must be good for us. Just like how water gets stagnant if it has no flow, it seems to be the same way with people. A body of water must have new water flowing into it and a place for water to flow out otherwise it will get stagnant and start to stink. People also seem to do better when they have constant inflow of new information so they don't get stuck, bitter and lose the zest for life that they once had when they were younger. People who, in the past, have adopted a view that they have everything all figured out and decided down to a perfect personal philosophy of life seem to lose the ability to see the wonder of the small things presented to them today and learn the lessons contained.

Maybe their philosophy has come from a book like the bible or other religious books and they have chosen to put their faith in a specific doctrine contained or one that has been sold to them by some so called religious authority. This may make one a bit black in white in their thinking and I've come to realize that so much of life is not black and white but instead, many shades of grey. People can get stuck and stagnant in their thinking and beliefs and just like the pond, be unable to embrace the inflow of new life that is trying to flow into them. It seems that many of the rules and beliefs we adopt for ourselves earlier in life can use some ratification, amendments or even sometimes be discarded all together. You have to let go of the old to be able to receive the new. It takes faith to be open to the new, especially when one has been conditioned by others to think and believe a certain way. Maybe even fear was used as a motivator to keep us stuck such as "do this or that and or you will be punished by God" This can make one fearful, always wondering if they are good enough or have done enough good deeds to cover the bad ones. That's no way to live.

It also takes courage to choose to think for yourself and decide for yourself what you believe and what is right for you. It takes faith and courage to come out from the flock, quit being a mindless follower dismissing your rational mind and choose your own path. You might have adopted the philosophy "if it aint broke, don't fix it." That's fine if your beliefs are working for you, but the question I have to ask is "Is what you believe really jiving with reality?" If not then you are probably dealing with some internal conflict as you realize like I did, that reality is not exactly like they told you it was. Not exactly like the message they preached to you. You can choose to hold tightly to those aging beliefs though they are proven "not valid" or you can let go of them and grow. I hope you have the courage to let go of the old beliefs and welcome the new. Even if if it is uncomfortable at first, you will still be embracing more of the truth and this is a good thing. It's a good thing because now you can see the picture more clearly, no longer through the clouded glasses of your old beliefs that distorted your view or reality. You can now make better choices accordingly which will lead to a better life. Holding on to old beliefs although they may bring comfort, comes with a price. Ignorance of the truth may be bliss for a while, but in the end it's rather costly. The price of holding on to anything other than the truth is choosing to live in a fantasy.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Post traumatic growth

I was watching Anthony Robbins on Oprah's next chapter last night on the OWN channel. He said something interesting. "How come all they ever talk about is "post traumatic stress syndrome" but never talk about "Post traumatic Growth" It's how hard things that happen to us actually can make us stronger, more appreciative of life, etc.

Here is information about it from Wiki.

Posttraumatic growth refers to positive psychological change experienced as a result of the struggle with highly challenging life circumstances. These sets of circumstances represent significant challenges to the adaptive resources of the individual, and pose significant challenges to individuals’ way of understanding the world and their place in it. Posttraumatic growth is not simply a return to baseline from a period of suffering; instead it is an experience of improvement that for some persons is deeply profound.

Blessings- Rob

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Take full responsibility for your health

I wonder how many people have been killed by prescription drugs this year like Whitney Houston. Of course , we as a society are constantly bombarded with advertising from Big Pharma convincing us that the answer to our problems are found in a pill. I'm sure they are quite content with us sitting on our fast food enlarged rear ends, not exercising, eating and drinking anything our little hearts may desire then when we get sick, popping one of their little "fix it" pills. Pills that will probably just make us more toxic, tax our immune system and in the long run, make us more sick. Pills that can be deadly.

We must take responsibility for our own health and well-being. In a society where money drives industry, we must understand that big corporations aren't always concerned with our well-being. They are concerned with profit. Just because something is legal to sell and consume doesn't mean it's the wisest decision for us. Did you know that over half of prescription drugs are derived from plants or other natural substances in nature? I find it odd that we can't even have access to some medicinal herbs because the government has made them illegal. What if I want to treat an illness with a natural herb instead of a man made version with horrid side effects? There are many I can't even get access too legally. Natural substances as found in nature are so much more tolerable and have much less side effects. Now I'm not saying it's wise to consume herbs just for recreation. I think they are here on earth for a reason. To treat various illness not to be ingested as a recreational lifestyle causing us to live our lives in a medicinally induced fog. It just makes sense that we have everything we need to prosper, put here on earth by our creator. Consider fruits and vegetables. They are brightly colored as if to signal us to be drawn to them. When we eat them, a whole symphony of chemical reactions go on in our bodies due to the vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals contained. They are high nutrient, lower calorie foods that boost our immune system and prevent illness. I'm convinced that the best treatment and prevention of disease should start on our plate. Our current health is a direct reflection of what we have been consuming. Our future health will be a direct reflection of what we are consuming right now. If I can track your daily food habits, I can to some degree, predict your health future. Have you heard of epigenetics? Epigenetics shows us that certain switches in our genome can be switched on and off depending on our choices. Someone may have a predisposed weakness in their health but it doesn't mean they are necessarily going to get sick. They may have a genetic weakness predisposing them to cancer but it's their chosen lifestyle that ultimately determines their destiny. It's time we take responsibility for our health. Time we choose to start taking small steps to improve it. Just like how a brick wall is built one brick at a time, we must build up our health one small positive habit at a time. A 10 minute brisk walk daily is better than no walk. By doing this faithfully, we would create a new habit and eventually we would feel strange if we didn't get our walk in. We will be compelled to do it. Eventually even look forward to it. Eventually we could increase it to 15 , 20 or even 30 minutes. Small changes lifestyle can have huge effects on our life and overall happiness over time. I've heard it said, "people don't decide their future, they decide their habits and their habits decide their future". This all starts with us taking full responsibility for our health. We decide for example to create a new habit of reaching for a apple when hungry, instead of going through the fast food drive through. We decide our health, one small decision at a time. Our health determines our energy level and how much we have to give back to our families and society. It's in direct reflection to how much we enjoy our lives. It greatly effects not only us, but all those we come in contact with. Especially those closest to us. I'm convinced that health is true wealth. To not pursue it vivaciously does not appear to be a wise decision. If we can just tackle this one area of life with enthusiasm, focus and energy what would it do for our overall life? If we can just win in this one area, I'm convinced we will win in many other areas.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Health is our true wealth

I'm conviced that our health is our true wealth. It's funny that so many people place such high priority on money while ignoring their health. All the money in the world would mean nothing to us if we were sick and dying. We would trade it in a heartbeat for health and vitality. No matter what our health status, we all have things we can do to come up a little higher in this area. When we feel good and have energy, it means our brains and bodies are functioning properly. We feel happy, more inspired, clearer, focused and more creative. We are at the top of our game. This makes it easier for us to find success in our lives.

There are things we can start doing today to increase our health. Whatever we decide to value and stay focused on will increase in our lives. If you just make one positive change this year, consider choosing to value your health above all. Choose to live at your own optimum healthy level. For most, this will require more knowledge and wisdom in this area. When you seek it, you will find it.

If you can discipline yourself and conquer this one area of your life, then you can conquer other challenges in your life. You can easily achieve your goals and prosperity will begin to chase you down.

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Lifted up

Every human has a handle by which they may be lifted. What's yours? Lift yourself up daily. Once you are on higher ground, stretch out your hand to someone else and lift them up to. Every time you improve your character you make the world a bit more beautiful. Your very life is a beautiful model for others to see and be inspired. You will inspire them to rise higher.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mountains and valleys

Life is interesting. Ups and downs. Mountains and valleys. It's all a cycle and both are needed. You learn things in the valleys that you wouldn't learn on the mountaintop and vice versa. If we only could see clearly when we are in the valley our mountain top experience ahead. If we only could understand the valuable wisdom we are learning here. We would probably look forward to being there and our challenging circumstances. They build our endurance, teach us humbleness and in turn, make us stronger.

Blessings- Rob

Boost your brainpower with Vinpocetine

Have you heard of "Vinpocetine" ? It's a standardized extract from the Periwinkle flower. They are using it for all kinds of cognitive impairment issues and also as a mind enhancing "nootropic" or natural "smart drug" It has so many amazing benefits as it is a anti-inflammatory and has neuroprotective properties. I know it's really helping me feel more calm, focused, and smarter on it. My creativity, memory, energy and mood is enhanced. No I'm not selling it but I wish I was. It's pretty awesome, you might want to try it. You can get it at your local health food store or online. You can read more about it at the link below. Or look it up on Wiki. :)

Special thanks to the following people for inspiring me to rise higher, and believe in myself. To have faith in my abilities but also faith in God, knowing that I was put here on earth for a reason and not by chance. For helping me understand the power, potential and resilience of the human spirit. The ability to overcome opposition, overcome challenges and accomplish goals in spite of adversity.

Blessings to you all for all the inspiration you've given me and so many. -Rob Lovegreen

Brain tracy, Anthony Robbins, Dennis Waitley, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Wayne Dyer, Oprah, Joel Osteen,Mike Murdock, Jack Canfield, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, Nick Vujicic, Joyce Meyer, T.D. Jakes, Dr. Daniel Amen,

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

21 tips to stop being a people pleaser

The following information was taken from a article written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. on Psych Central. I thought it was really good and wanted to share. Also, Enjoy! -Rob

1. Realize you have a choice.

People-pleasers often feel like they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. Remember that you always have a choice to say no, Newman said.

2. Set your priorities.

Knowing your priorities and values helps you put the brakes on people-pleasing. You know when you feel comfortable saying no or saying yes. Ask yourself, “What are the most important things to me?” Newman suggested.

3. Stall.

Whenever someone asks you for a favor, it’s perfectly OK to say that you’ll need to think about it. This gives you the opportunity to consider if you can commit to helping them. (Also important is to ask the person for details about the commitment.)

Newman suggested asking yourself: “How stressful is this going to be? Do I have the time to do this? What am I going to give up? How pressured am I going to feel? Am I going to be upset with this person who’s asking?”

Asking yourself these questions is key because, as Newman said, very often after you’ve said yes or helped out, you’re left wondering, “What was I thinking?” I neither have the time nor the expertise to help out.

If the person needs an answer right away, “your automatic answer can be no,” Newman said. That’s because “Once you say yes, you’re stuck.” By saying no automatically, “you leave yourself an option” to say yes later if you’ve realized that you’re available. And “you’ve also gotten it off your must-do or don’t-want to do list.”

4. Set a time limit.

If you do agree to help out, “limit your time frame,” Newman said. Let the person know that “I’m only available from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.,” for example.

5. Consider if you’re being manipulated.

Sometimes, people are clearly taking advantage of you, so it’s important to watch out for manipulators and flatterers, Newman said. How do you spot them? She said, “Often the people who flatter you will say [statements like], ‘Oh you’re so good at baking cakes, would you make a cake for my child’s birthday?’ or ‘I don’t know how to put this bookcase together, but you’re so handy, can you help me out?’”

A classic line is “Nobody does this better than you do,” she said. Also, these people “will either coax you into doing something or try to tell you what your availability is or what your time frame is.” Basically, before you know it, they make the decision for you.

6. Create a mantra.

Figure out a mantra you can say to yourself to stop you from people-pleasing. It can even be a visual as simple as a big “No” flashing when a certain friend who “can always talk you into something” approaches you, Newman said.

7. Say no with conviction.

“The first no to anyone is always the hardest,” Newman said. But once you get over that first bump, “you will be well on your way to getting off the yes treadmill.” Also, remember that you’re saying no for good reasons. “You get time for yourself and for the people you really want to help,” she said.

8. Use an empathic assertion.

Some people initially think that being assertive means “stepping all over people,” Tillman said. Instead, she explained that “assertiveness is really about connection.”

Using an empathic assertion “means that you put yourself in the other person’s shoes as you assert yourself,” Tillman said. So you let the person know that you understand where they’re coming from, but unfortunately, you can’t help. “People need to feel heard and understood,” and this is a respectful way of asserting yourself and saying no.

9. Consider if it’s worth it.

When asserting yourself, Tillman suggested asking yourself, “Is it really worth it?” It’s probably not worth it to tell your boss about his annoying habit, but it is worth it to tell your friend that you can’t do lunch because you’re super busy.

10. Don’t give a litany of excuses.

It’s tempting to want to defend your decision to say no to someone so they understand your reasoning. But this actually backfires. According to Newman, “As soon as you start explaining, you give the other person lots of wiggle room to come back and say, ‘Oh, you can do that later,’ ‘You can adjust your schedule’ or ‘That’s not as important as what I’m asking.’”

11. Start small.

“Everything we learn how to do we learn through a process,” so take baby steps, Tillman said. Instead of barging into your boss’s office to ask for a raise, talk with your immediate supervisor first about how to prepare yourself for the talk, she said.

12. Practice successive approximation.

Successive approximation means taking “one step in the direction you want to go” and rewarding yourself for getting that far, Tillman said. If your neighbor’s dog’s barking is driving you crazy, make efforts to confront the person by first saying “Good morning,” as you’re both leaving the house, she said. Another time, you might mention how noisy the neighborhood has been. If he doesn’t get the hint, you can knock on his door and use an empathic assertion.

It can help to write down “how you get from A to Z,” Tillman said. This also helps you gain courage to confront the person, she added.

13. Don’t apologize — if it’s not your fault.

People-pleasers tend to be serial apologists, Tillman said. Pay attention to when you’re apologizing and consider if you’re really at fault. Ask yourself if you’re responsible for the situation, she said. Usually, the answer is no.

14. Remember that saying no has its benefits.

As Newman said, “you as a person are entitled to your time and you need to rest and rejuvenate to be there for the people you want to help out.” Look at saying no as an opportunity to spend your time doing what you value in your life.

15. Set clear boundaries — and follow through.

“We all have physical or emotional limits,” Newman said, and because of these limits, we have to set boundaries. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do, and don’t go beyond these limits. Also, be clear in communicating your boundaries. Say what you’re thinking and what you want.

Letting someone step over your boundaries without voicing your frustrations can lead you to “bottle up this negative feeling about a person…to the point when you have a blowup and really hurt someone’s feelings or end the relationship” completely,” she said.

For instance, you might “have a friend who’s just so emotionally needy and negative that she calls you all the time with her problems and wants you to listen,” Newman said. But “even just listening is asking a favor…[and] every time you hang out, you’re miserable and she feels better.” Respect your boundaries, and at some point, say to her, “I can’t help you,” Newman said.

There also are subtle ways to respect your boundaries. You might “start taking every other call and wean yourself off of her.” You can do the same thing with a person who calls you at your busiest time of day. You might say, “I can’t be available for you at 2:30 because I’m at the office; let’s set up a particular time to talk,” she said. When setting up the time, offer one that works best for you.

Setting physical boundaries might mean telling a person that they can’t just pop over when they want to or borrow your things without asking, she said.

16. Don’t be scared of the fallout.

People-pleasers often worry that after they say no, the fallout will be catastrophic. But as Newman said, “the fallout is never as bad as we think it is.” In fact, “it’s usually very insignificant.” Why? For starters, “people are not thinking about you as much as you think.” Usually after you say no, a person is more focused on who they’ll be asking next to help them than your so-called betrayal, she said.

Even a significant request such as being the maid of honor at your friend’s wedding isn’t disastrous. Being the maid of honor “takes a lot of time, energy and money,” which you may not have. You saying that “I’m really honored and this means so much to me, but I won’t be able to do it,” “isn’t going to ruin the wedding,” Newman said. “If you have a solid friendship, this isn’t going to end it.”

17. Consider who you want to have your time.

Newman suggested asking yourself, “Who do I really want to help?” As she put it, “Do you want to be there for your parents or some friend from college who lived down the hall who you partied with a lot who’s back in your life and really demanding?”

18. Self-soothe.

Using positive self-talk is “like being a good mother to yourself,” Tillman said. You can use this to remind yourself of your priorities and boundaries. For instance, you might say “I can do this,” “I have the right to park in this parking spot,” “I made the decision that’s right for me” or “My values are more important than saying yes in this situation.”

19. Recognize when you’ve been successful.

Many people-pleasers tend to focus on what went wrong, Tillman said. Counteract this tendency by keeping a journal with the times you handled a situation well, such as when you were assertive or didn’t apologize. In fact, you might be surprised at “how many more times you’re responding confidently,” she said.

20. Keep a confidence file.

Since a lack of confidence can cause your people-pleasing ways, keep a file with positive and praising emails, cards or anything else, Tillman said. (For instance, Psych Central associate editor Therese Borchard keeps a self-esteem file.) It can even come in handy when asking for that raise. Tillman suggested printing out any emails or letters of praise you’ve received from co-workers or higher-ups and taking them to your boss as another reason why you deserve a raise.

21. Realize that you can’t be everything to everyone.

Again, people-pleasers want to make everyone happy. While you might make someone happy temporarily, Newman said, it doesn’t work long term. And you can get hurt in the process. “People who preserve their time and energy and don’t say yes to everyone also realize that they can’t make other people happy,” she said. People-pleasers must realize that the only thoughts and feelings they can change are their own. Click here to read my other blog "are you a people pleaser?"

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Monday, January 23, 2012


We always tend to judge a book by it's cover in regards to people. Sometimes the book is much better than the cover design though, if we take the time to look deeper.

Sometimes, God sends amazing things wrapped in packages that without us having a keen eye, we might overlook. We must learn to look deeper. Past the outer shell and at the soul of a person.

When we see people for who they really are, we will see beauty because everything that God has made has beauty contained. Don't miss the reward of treasure contained in those who cross your path. People enter your life for a reason, what do we have to receive from them? What do you have to give? :)

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