Monday, November 29, 2010
People and relationships
When you want to be really good at something you study it right? You may go to the book store and read books on the subject. Search articles on the internet. Ask questions from wise people who are successful in the thing you want to be good in. You are constantly seeking new information which you can apply to your life. Targeted information to help you succeed in your focused endeavor.
Ok, so with that in mind, I had this thought about people in relationships. How many people in relationships of any kind study with passion how to make those relationships better? They say that most of our satisfaction in life doesn't come from the material things we attain or our status or accomplishments. It comes from our relationships. What's really bringing you happiness? It's your interpersonal relationships. What if you have tons of money but your family is falling apart? There's no peace or happiness in that right? Or what if you can't have healthy close friendships because you are a self focused jerk? Maybe you don't realize that till later in life and end up having many regrets because you bought into the lie that happiness was to be found in achievement. You didn't prioritize your family and friends.
Since most of our satisfaction in life does come from our relationships, doesn't it make sense that we should study on how to make them better? That we should develop a passion for knowledge in this area? Since the divorce rate is over 50 percent it's obvious that people haven't decided to pursue wisdom in this area. The person they once adored is now the person that they hate. Yes not every two people are a good match and there is many situations that can't be reconciled but I can't help but wonder something. How many divorces could have been prevented if both parties would have decided early on in the marriage to become a student of wisdom in regards to relationships. If you ask both parties involved in a divorce who is at fault, they usually will tell you it's the others fault. They are overlooking the fact that they chose this person and decided to marry them. You see the real problem is usually not with the other person, it's within them. We humans don't tend to see our own faults and have a habit of blaming others. Many times we can be blind to our own faults as we harshly hold others to a high standard. This is human nature. It's interesting to me that Jesus Christ taught about this when he said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" He went on to say "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5)
Now how do you remove a plank from your own eye if you don't even recognize that it's there? Many people don't. How do you discover it's there? Though you can take the painful route of discovery and make tons of mistakes the best and easiest way to discover it would be through mentorship. Through learning about yourself and studying how to have successful relationships. Others have made the mistakes already and many books have been written on the subject to help others avoid them. On your journey of relationship wisdom seeking, you will discover so much about yourself. You will discover good things you are doing. You will discover good things you are doing that you can do better. You may discover some things about yourself that are painful and you need to change, but in the long run it will save you from much more heartache and pain. Become a student of relationships, make it your goal to become wise in this area. I can promise you that when you are wise in this area, you will experience more success and happiness in every area of your life.
Blessings -Rob Lovegreen